Combo Thoughts: TMNT 2, ID4 2, X Men: Apocalypse, Star Trek Beyond

So I decided to take a week off of too much internet, and of course four 2016 summer blockbuster trailers are released during that time. Instead of posting thoughts one trailer at a time, I'm going to cover them all in one blog post, beginning with...

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS

It looks very, very silly, just like the 1990's cartoon. And because it looks just like the 1990's cartoon, but in live action, I'm willing to give it a chance. It's a silly kind of fun.

And for the record, I did like last year's TMNT movie, damn stupid as it was. These turtles are spot on personality wise, I dare say even more so than the 1990's movie ones.

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

Possibly the best of the four trailers. I never craved for an ID4 sequel, and still don't, but it can't be denied that the trailer looks awesome. The 1996 movie was a cinematic event  and can boast of arguably the greatest troop rallying speech in movie history, which interestingly enough they used here once again to great effect.

X MEN: APOCALYPSE

I'm not a fan of the Bryan Singer X Men movies, even though X2 and Days of Future Past were both pretty good. It just seems to me that Singer was never the best fit for these movies, as they all seem to be lacking a certain... oomph. However, I was looking forward to X Men: Apocalypse, as Apocalypse is one of my favorite comicbook villains, and it will feature the cast of X Men: First Class (by far my favorite X Movie).

I wasn't disappointed by the trailer, but it didn't get me particularly excited either, and it also confirmed that Apocalypse's atrocious look is indeed real and Fox won't bother fixing it. His voice doesn't help matters either; even though I roll my eyes at most rough, deep, cliched villain voices, Apocalypse is one of those villains that works better with it. Oscar Isaacs isn't doing it for me.

STAR TREK BEYOND

Saving the worst for last, here's Star Trek Beyond.

Ok, yes, the 2009 JJ Abrams timeline reboot was a fun ride, but it wasn't what Star Trek is all about. It can be forgiven because Abrams was asked to revitalize the franchise, and Abrams isn't a Trek fan anyway, so he's obviously going all pew pew with it. Star Trek Into Darkness was more nonsensical pew pew, but it did have its emotional moments, and once again I enjoyed it. However, at the end of that movie was the promise of the Five Year mission that was the focus of the original 1960's TV series, and what I yearned for (the return to a more science based, social commentary Star Trek) was a distinct possibility. It's not that I disliked the space battles and action scenes, it's that I did not want Star Trek movies to rely solely on them to sell their stories. A combination of the two is possible (best example: Wrath of Khan) provided you get the right writers. How did the original series do it? They hired actual science fiction writers, not Hollywood hacks, to write their stories.

So what does Paramount do?

Why, they hire the director from The Fast and the Furious, of course!

I had actually forgotten that ridiculous hiring happened until I started watching this trailer. If you have ever wanted to see The Fast and the Furious in space, this is your chance. Maybe Uhura and that new alien lady will delight us with a gratuitous ass shot as the Enterprise soars into adventure. 

Now all that's left is for a 2001: A Space Odyssey remake with Michael Bay at the helm, just so Arthur C. Clarke can roll in his grave in unison with Gene Roddenberry. 

Batman v Superman Official Trailer #2

One sentence synopsis: Batman is not happy with Superman, so they fight; also, Lex Luthor sharpens his puppeteering skills.

One sentence trailer thoughts: loved it, but god damn you, spoilers!

Expanded thoughts: this trailer is like Man of Steel: I really liked it, but can't help criticizing it to death. After two good promos with last year's teaser and this year's Comic Con trailer, where they showed enough to water our mouths without spoiling anything, Warner Bros went all out giving away too much. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

So the trailer starts with the first meeting of Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent. So far so great; this encounter delivered the goods in terms of script and character portrayal. Kent asks Wayne what he thinks about Gotham's bat vigilante, to which Wayne's immediate reaction is a knowing smile. What follows that is the first few salvoes in the Batman versus Superman war: Kent argues that Gotham is in a state of fear and the Batman thinks he is above the law, while Wayne counters that such an argument is hypocritical coming from the Daily Planet since Superman is basically in the same position over at Metropolis. The coup de grace comes when Wayne says "Maybe it's the Gotham City in me; I have a bad history with freaks dressed like clowns". In one fell swoop he insults Superman while referencing the Joker in an insanely awesome quote.

With the current climate of fearmongering over Muslims in the United States, I found it interesting how Bruce says "alien" during this exchange. I'm probably overthinking this, but there's some parallel with Zod's attack on Metropolis and terrorists attacks in our world, and how this creates an intense fear of the foreign. Here Batman takes the tough stance against aliens, any aliens, regardless of the good Superman has been doing. I'm just going to say it outright: Batman is leaning Republican while Superman is leaning Democrat. And when you think about it, well of course it makes sense.

Anyway, back to the trailer. This sequence should have ended (in the trailer) right there, yet for some reason they decided to show us Lex's intervention. Now, I was not a fan of this Luthor in the first trailer, and still dislike him after this one. Too much of a smartass when he should be more intimidating (obviously they didn't cast Jesse Eisenberg to be intimidating, but you get the point). I liked him in this scene, but I wish they kept this as a movie surprise. It shifted the tone of the trailer from serious to funny, then after this went back to serious... it doesn't really fit the trailer. For the movie, though, it's great how Luthor's the one to diffuse the tension between the two heroes.

The trailer continues with a bunch of explosions and action sequences while Alfred is telling Bruce what everybody knows: that the Batman engaging Superman is suicide, he cannot win. Even Superman tells it like it is when he says at one point "Stay down. If I wanted it, you'd be dead already!" Of course, we know Batman is one obssessive guy and he doesn't let go of things easily.

Eventually we get to the part where the biggest spoiler exists. Yes, the rumors had been circulating that Doomsday would show up in this movie, and Zod's brief shot in the Comic Con teaser opened up that possibility; but confirming that suspicion at the end of this trailer shifted the focus from the Superman versus Batman fight into Doomsday. Remember, even the title is promoting this as a grand battle between the two greatest heroes of DC Comics. We all know they will kiss and make up at the end and eventally form the Justice League, there was no need to show us that. Doomsday made the fight feel meaningless. Did I like that sequence, and Wonder Woman saving the day? Hell yes. Would I rather WB never showed that? Absolutely.

Wait... are those Darkseid's parademons?

Expectations: very high.

Captain America: Civil War Teaser Trailer #1

One sentence synopsis: the government has had enough of superheroes running around unchecked, and their registration idea is not agreed upon universally...

One sentence trailer thoughts: loved it, with a but...

 Expanded thoughts: I have been waiting quite a while for this one. Out of all the Marvel movies that have been slated since 2014 until 2020, this is the one I have been looking forward to the most, simply because the comicbook storyline it is based upon is one of my favorites; so my expectations coming into this trailer where very high... and they were both met, and not.

Let me explain myself. From a cinematic point of view, the movie looks fantastic. Pitting superheroes against each other is always a plus, and this "versus" has been better built up than Batman and Superman's. Had I not read the comics, I wouldn't have a bad thing to say about this. I loved it. The action looks just as great as The Winter Soldier's, which is my #1 Marvel movie to date. We get to see the introduction of Black Panther, who looks badass in those few seconds of screen time. We even might have had a glimpse of the MCU's Spiderman right after the sequence where Black Panther is being chased by Cap in the parking lot. It's epic in scope, and you know the story is at the center of this movie and not the big explosions or stunts. It is directed by the Russo brothers, the same architects behind The Winter Soldier's success.

Black Panther

Here comes the big, hairy But.

But (and mind you, this is judging solely from the trailer, for we have nothing else) from a story potential point of view, it disappointed me. I need to give some background for those who have not read the Civil War comics: the war is triggered by some kids with superpowers who have a reality show, and in their pilot episode they are about to bust into a house where some supervillains are hiding. Things go wrong, and one of the supervillains causes a huge explosion that ends up killing hundreds, including lots of children in a nearby school in the city of Stamford. This tragedy, of course, is met with a public outcry to restrain superpowered beings, in a parallel to 9/11 and its subsequent world of fearmongering against all things Muslim. The U.S. Government decides that the days of unchecked superheroes are over; now they must officially register as government employees and answer to the government itself. Many heroes, including Tony Stark and the Fantastic Four's Reed Richards, agree to this officialization of "superheroing", while others, led by Captain America, do not want to be told who to help or not by anyone. This is big, of course, since Captain America was one the U.S.'s top soldiers, and if there was anyone you would expect to run along with this new agenda, it is him.

Those that do not comply are criminals. Enter the Civil War.

Now that you have the context, let's go back to this trailer. Based on this trailer the trigger seems to be Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. The government is after him and Cap will defend his friend to the last, and Falcon is involved because he was already helping Cap in Bucky's search. When Cap faces off against some police agents in another country, the government of the United States decides that enough is enough, and that superheroes cannot keep running around doing whatever they feel like without facing any consequences. Thus, the Registration Act is born, one to which Cap cannot agree to... because he doesn't want Bucky falling into the government hands. Tony Stark is now sent by the government to track down Cap and Bucky and bring them to "justice". Enter the MCU's Civil War.

Spoilers much? 'Cause he looks dead to me. And a black guy does die in the comics too.
Just saying.

This is where I have a problem with this version. This plot isn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, it simply cheapens what was an even grander idea. It isn't about helping people at all costs anymore, now it's something personal for Cap; it's about his friend. The way the trailer ended gives me confidence in believing that this will be the main theme of the movie: friendship and betrayal. Again, not a bad plot course, it simply isn't about purer ideals of heroism like in the comics, something that not only Cap but the many others that follow him can get behind. It is Cap's quest now, and he will be dragging his loyal friends into the mess. Frankly, this makes him look bad in my opinion, and Tony the sane one.

Besides cheapening a bigger story, my other problem is that they already had laid the groundwork for the original, bigger story. Remember Age of Ultron, how the Hulk went out of control and his battle against Stark's Hulkbuster caused plenty of damage to Johannesburg? Or how it was Tony Stark's own stubborn creation, Ultron, that put the entire world at risk? Not only was this a similar trigger to the tragedy of Stamford from the comics, it was a better one. Why? Because this time it wasn't some reckless kids who don't know any better causing the damage, it was the mighty Avengers' own members that needed to be restrained. Furthermore, Tony Stark was at the center of both incidents, making him the penitent hero that would immediately agree to a Registration Act in order to soothe his guilty conscience. Cap had no such qualms, of course, and would resent what he sees as government intrusion into matters of principle and not legal authority, especially after H.Y.D.R.A's infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D. He simply cannot trust in the government anymore, and thus has every reason to decline registration and become a fugitive.

It was there already, Marvel! You didn't need Bucky for this, all you needed was to explore the fallout of the previous movie, which to me already looked like a setup for this movie. Heck, even DC is doing this with Batman v Superman. Bucky could have joined in once Cap was underground.

Now, I repeat, I am basing these impressions only on the teaser trailer. Maybe they will explore this bigger plot anyway. Maybe that is the reason Tony Stark accepts to be registered. It just doesn't seem like it, and so the trailer disappointed me as much as I loved it.

The movie, however, (or even the next trailer) might change this.

Expectations: regardless of which plot they follow, my expectations are quite high.

Warcraft Official Trailer #1

One sentence synopsis: an epic fantasy/adventure based on the popular video game series World of Warcraft.

One sentence trailer thoughts: I would love to say "wow" just to make a lame pun of the game's initials, but the trailer didn't quite get me there.

Expanded thoughts: kind of the same problems that affected the teaser from Comic Con are present in this trailer. Actually, just one: the CGI. Not that there's too much of it (that can't be helped, I'm sure), but that it's too evident. If this were the graphics of the game it would look fantastic, but for a movie it looks like something out of the early 2000's. Still, I'm willing to give it a pass for the sake of the game, which I played for a while some years ago, with characters from both the Alliance and the Horde. I'm nowhere near what you would call a hardcore fan, of course; more like a very casual player that truly enjoyed the game without ever digging too deep into its mythology. So, while I recognize some of the locations like Stormwind and the Arathi Highlands, I'm unable to walk you through the trailer as a seasoned guide. Instead, I'll say that I'm cautiously optimistic about the movie.

As for what the trailer does show us, the first thing that caught my attention was actor Travis Fimmel, whom many will recognize as the legendary hero Ragnarr Loðbrók from the series Vikings. Those who watch Vikings know very well he is quite a badass and very capable of leading the charge from the human side as Sir Anduin Lothar, who is willing to make an alliance with the Orcs in order to survive some sort of greater menace.

Speaking of Orcs, that is probably the most interesting part about this project; for it seems that we will get to see both factions - Alliance and Horde - from an equal perspective, instead of the typical "let's root for the humans, yay" stance. I guess it was to be expected, though, since the game allows you to play any of the factions.

Expectations: cautiously optimistic, despite the CGI (or because of it?).

The H8ful Eight Official Trailer #1

One sentence synopsis: it's Tarantino, you don't need a synopsis.

One sentence trailer thoughts: it's Tarantino, it's Russell, it's Sam Jackson, it's the Old West on ice, what's not to like?

Expanded thoughts: this is the movie that we nearly didn't get because of some assholes leaking the script, infuriating Tarantino to such a point he cancelled the movie before it began production. Of course, I have to assume that after going through so much trouble writing the script, there was no way in hell he was just going to let go of it forever, so he came around to his senses.

So we have Sam Jackson back, as well as Kurt Russell, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, a couple other guys I recognize but can't remember their names, in a Western movie directed by Quentin Tarantino and beautifully set during a harsh winter. The cinematography is simply gorgeous, and the setup seems primed for some interesting tension building sequences as only Tarantino can do. This Christmas will really feel like Christmas with Star Wars, then this and The Revenant.

Expectations: I just chose my Christmas movie, and it will be filled with h8.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Official Trailer #1

One sentence synopsis: the Black Plague has struck, and the result is zombies across the land; cue insane badassery.

One sentence trailer thoughts: I'm still on board.

Expanded thoughts: the teaser was good enough to make me interested, and happily the first official trailer hasn't done anything to change that. Sure, some of the sequences look a little over the top, but overall it does seem interesting to see a society changed by the appearance of zombies due to the Black Plague, and how they adapt to such a bizarre world.

Expectations: still on the watchlist.

Jane Got a Gun

One sentence synopsis: Jane's husband is in bad shape and persecuted, and there's only one way she can help him: with a gun.

One sentence trailer thoughts: Ok, I'm listening.

Expanded thoughts: as I mentioned before in my Bone Tomahawk review, I'm a fan of Westerns; but the name of this particular one sounded so stupid I was avoiding watching the trailer out of disinterest. Well, I finally gave in, and turns out it looks pretty good. Not a "holy shit, I must see this!" kind of good, but an "Ok, I'm listening" sort of good that makes you willing to devote a slow afternoon to go to the movies and have a swell time.

This film is NRA approved.

The cast seems pretty cool too, besides Natalie Portman. We got Joel Edgerton as the co-lead, an actor of good talent that is on the rise in Hollywood, as well as Ewan McGregor as the main antagonist. Natalie doesn't seem forced in the role of a woman in the West out to defend herself on her own... and in fact it just dawned on me what this was reminding me of: Claudia Cardinale's Jill McBain from Once Upon a Time in the West, though she didn't go as far training with guns (that I can recall). Anyway, Portman looks comfortable in the role, and I'm intrigued.

Expectations: I just said it, I'm intrigued.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

One sentence synopsis: do you really need to know this?

One sentence trailer thoughts: ummm...

Expanded thoughts: I wasn't blown away. In fact, I had sort of the same reaction as with the teaser from last year. Well, not exactly, I liked this better. The trailer's certainly good, and the movie definitely looks good, but it lacked a certain... oomph to it, something to push it into epicness hyperspace. 

After watching it three times (as of this writing), I'm still a bit bothered by the three different character voiceovers of Rey (Daisy Ridley), Finn (John Boyega), and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), especially this last one, which seemed a bit forced. Also, did not like the look of this shot at all:

The lighting on that shot looks off, fake-ish, too CGI. Might work in the context of the movie, so I'm not completely dismissing it right now, but my first impression of it isn't good.

One of the dogfights look like a mix of Hoth's battle from The Empire Strikes Back with Endor's Death Star battle from Return of the Jedi, which is both a good thing, and not.

It's a trap!

And of course, this shot reminded me of Miyazaki's Castle in the Sky, which is good:

The trailer did raise a couple of questions, such as what is Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) doing with Kylo Ren? Is he a prisoner? For some reason, my first thought was that somehow his origin is linked to Kylo Ren. I don't know. Anyway, the other question is, is Finn really going to lightsaber fight Kylo Ren? Even if he ends up having the Force, I don't see how he can win that duel.

All in all, I would rank this as the second best Force Awakens trailer, behind Luke's voiceover one. Good, but not great.

Expectations: Geek level.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

One sentence synopsis: the beloved novel by Jane Austin is adapted yet again for the big screen, just with zombies this time.

One sentence trailer thoughts: Yup.

Expanded thoughts: if it wasn't for the fact that I had already seen in bookshelves, many years ago, the novel to this (not the original Pride & Prejudice, obviously, but the 2009 novel Pride & Prejudice & Zombies), I would have done an epic eye roll at the mere sight of this trailer's title. Instead, I was mentally prepared for the sheer silliness of the premise... aaaaaand loved it. Ok, perhaps not loved it; the trailer hasn't completely convinced me, but it certainly has my attention, though now I'm more interested in reading the novel and getting the full details of the story rather than watching the movie.

So yes, this is the world of Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice, but in an alternate reality where zombies exist in the countryside. Whatever. The presence of these zombies will provide the slight alterations to Austen's original plot. Hilarity (or horror) ensues.

Expectations: it's on the watchlist for now.

Sherlock Special

One sentence synopsis: it's BBC's Sherlock but in his original 19th century setting.

One sentence trailer thoughts: the more I watch this, the more I like it.

Expanded thoughts: watching this gives the rare sensation of watching an amazing fanfic of BBC's Sherlock series, but back to its Victorean roots... and then realizing that it is actually produced by the BBC and switching to "holy shit I can't believe this is happening" mode. This series has been a weird ride, considering how insanely popular it has been, how LONG the waits are from one "season" to the other, and then how it actually fills up one of those long interludes with this Conan Doylish version of Sherlock Holmes.

I'm digging it. Wasn't really through the first watch, but the second and third really got me.

Expectations: high, but measured; even this has a "coming soon" tag that's as good as a warning not to hold your breath waiting for this.

Bone Tomahawk

One sentence synopsis: from the video's description - when a group of cannibal savages kidnap settlers from the small town of Bright Hope, an unlikely team of gunslingers sets out to bring them home; but their enemy is more ruthless than anyone could have imagined, putting their mission in serious jeopardy.

One sentence trailer thoughts: HOLY SHIT!?!

Expanded thoughts: I love westerns. One of the westerns I love the most is Tombstone, starring Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp. So you can imagine that I was really curious about this trailer when I saw Russell again in a western movie. Then I watched the trailer. And got confused. Is this a western, or horror? (Mind you, the clip I embedded above is not the one I watched first, though it was the exact same trailer). Nah, has to be a western of some kind... and then I checked further, and it's a horror western.

I love westerns.

I hate horror movies.

It's freaking Kurt Russell.

The movie looks awesome, and disturbing, and awesome.

I think I'm about to fzzt shortfzzt circuitfzzzt

That... looks painful.

Expectations: *gurgles*

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

One sentence synopsis: it's the last battle between the evil government and the rebels that don't want to fight for hunger anymore.

One sentence trailer thoughts: gee, it will FINALLY be over!

Hero shot is heroic.

Expanded thoughts: seriously, thank goodness it's going to be over! Don't get me wrong: I actually liked the books, I thought the first movie was decent...ish, and Catching Fire was awesome and the best of the bunch (as was the book). But Mockingjay the book was sort of a disturbing mess, and dividing it into two parts was pretty stupid. The end result is that I don't care about this movie anymore, and all the buildup in this trailer, which was actually well made, makes me sigh with annoyance instead of pumping me up.

Will I watch it? Well, duh. Perhaps not at the theater, but eventually, I will. I mean, I have already seen the other three, might as well... sigh... finish this.

Expectations: sigh...

Thanks for the nightmares.

Spectre

One sentence synopsis: Bond has to stop the bad guy for the 24th time in movie history.

One sentence trailer thoughts: for a final trailer it's really short, which might be a good thing or a bad thing.

Expanded thoughts: to expand on what I just said above, the trailer is really short by today's standards of a final trailer. That's a good thing in the sense of not giving away the whole movie, which I fully support, but since this is something we are not used to with big productions such as this one, it makes me wonder: is there some other reason? Like, the movie's kinda bad, or doesn't have enough action to be interesting? I mean, the director is once again Sam Mendes, who is most certainly a great director, but also nearly put me to sleep at some points during Skyfall, which is a cardinal sin in a Bond movie. I was also surprised by how little I care that Christoph Waltz is the villain in this movie, considering his Colonel Hans Landa is one of my all time favorite movie villains, and he was pretty good in Django Unchained as well. Judging solely from the trailer (obviously) he doesn't seem to be that special of a Bond villain. Even his Col. Landa wouldn't fit with Bond, great as he was.

Anyway, I'm really hoping this movie is more Casino Royale than Skyfall. Casino Royale was the perfect blend of solid story and solid action for a Bond movie. We need more of that. I need more of that. Make it so, Mr. Mendes.

Skull. Dead people. Spirits. Spectres. Get it?

Expectations: high, actually. This has been the Year of the Spy Movies, and I would be very disappointed if Spectre doesn't deliver.

Hell and Back

One sentence synopsis: a guy finds an evil book, friend gets sucked into Hell, guy and another friend follow in to rescue, all Hell breaks loose.

One sentence trailer thoughts: well, it's different.

Expanded thoughts: No, this is not a Tim Burton movie, but it seems like the kind of thing he would do if he went back to stop motion animation. It doesn't look great, but there's one positive: at least American animation is exploring other territories beyond kiddie stuff. Yes, it has been done before, but not as a major release (at least that I can remember). Despite the hellish imagery, there's plenty of jokes here to confuse the "can't be bothered with researching the contents of movies" parents into bringing the whole family to watch an R rated movie. Of course, there's still the question of whether what caused the R rating ("pervasive strong crude and sexual content, language and some drug use") was done purely for shock value, or if it has a point. In other words: is this a movie that I, as an adult, want to be bothered with, or is it too stupid to care about? Just because Robot Chicken can be funny in small doses, doesn't mean we want 90 minutes of it.

Expectations: meh. Probably a rental.

The Revenant

One sentence synopsis: honestly, judging by the trailer alone, I can only assume it's a revenge story.

One sentence trailer thoughts: looks really, really, Oscar baitish.

Yeah, that mad man is Leo DiCaprio.

Expanded thoughts: when the teaser for this movie came out, I was blown away; it gave you a really good feel for the artistry of the movie. That teaser is infinitely better than this official trailer, mostly because they sold me with great sound editing and imagery, and very few verbal exposition required. It was a piece of art in and of itself, whereas this trailer is more mainstream, however understandable that is from a marketing standpoint. Either one is a perfect showcase for González Iñárritu's masterful direction, though. Are several Oscar nominations awaiting this film? Probably. It sure looks like Oscar bait, and as of now, I'm biting.

Tom Hardy seems to be wanting that first Academy Award nomination really bad.

Expectations: Very high.

The X Files

One sentence synopsis: agents Mulder and Scully are back to tackle on more conspiracies than your average internet troll.

One sentence trailer thoughts: THEY ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

Expanded thoughts: it's The X Files, bro. This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime game-changing series that we never forget, and it's actually coming for seconds!

Also, is Gillian Anderson looking very different (and young), or is it just me? At first I wasn't sure if it was her or another actress, that's how much she has changed. Plastic surgery? Does it really matter? The X Files are back!

Expectations: very high!

Angry Birds

One sentence synopsis: Whatever, it's based on a phone app, ffs.

One sentence thoughts: haha...meh...hah...meh.

Expanded thoughts: I was very surprised to be actually laughing at some of the silly anger management issue jokes from this trailer. I mean, I don't even like the game it's based on, though I understand why it's so addictive; I have similar addiction problems with Fun Run, which come to think on it already had its Hollywood adaptation with Mad Max: Fury Road. Sort of.

I can identify with "Red" so much I think I might see this movie just because of him.

Anyway, some scenes were surprisingly funny, only to be immediately undercut by clichéd sequences that seemingly pop up in every single animated movie trailer. And going back to that synopsis: really, what's the plot here? Some birds suffer from anger issues, and then randomly some pigs appear on a ship, announce they are pigs, and...umm, conflict ensues, or something. Yes, I know the birds attack the pigs in the game, but if you have absolutely no idea about the game and watch this, you will be scratching your head. Heck, you probably would scratch your head anyway. I was.

Yes, you are pigs. Green pigs. So? Should we fight or something?

However, despite this, I have a feeling this movie is going to do really well on that opening weekend. After all, Summer is the season for two hour ads in the theaters.

Expectations: Meh. Maybe. I don't know. Probably not in the theaters. Unless I'm really, really bored.

The Young Messiah

One sentence synopsis: the story of Jesus as a child, basically.

One sentence trailer thoughts: what is this movie bringing that is different from the other zillion movies about Jesus?

Expanded thoughts: I used to watch this sort of movie every Easter week, for six or even seven days in a row, back in a time when local channels broadcasted religious movies throughout that holy week. And it really looks like one of those old movies and not a new Hollywood production. There are only two reasons why I gave this trailer a glance: Sean Bean, and Anne Rice.

Will Sean Bean's character die in the movie? I really wonder that. He's a really good actor that always draws you in to his roles. Should be interesting to see what he does here as a Roman... Centurion? I guess he is tracking Jesus under the orders of Herod, who... *sigh* I know he was a king, but he was also a Jew. I have a hard time fathoming a Jew giving a Roman citizen orders. Don't have enough historical knowledge to argue one way or another for the movie's accuracy in that respect, so I'll just leave it at "it nags me".

As for Anne Rice, I remember years ago when she published a book about Jesus, back when I was still very much in awe of her first three Vampire Chronicles and liked some of the other ones. I thought it was very interesting how a writer with her resume tackled such a topic as Jesus Christ. Never got to read that novel, but always assumed she imprinted her own personal style into it, gave the story something new that made it deserving of the read. But I watch this trailer, and I wonder if the fault lies with the movie or the source material, because there's nothing notable about it, besides the fact that it doesn't stray from the childhood years of Jesus.

Expectations: Low. Sort of. Better wait for the next trailer.

The Big Short

One sentence synopsis: four outsiders in the world of high finance who predicted the credit and housing bubble-collapse of the mid 2000's decide to take on the big banks for their lack of foresight and greed.

One sentence trailer thoughts: it's like The Wolf of Wall Street had a one night stand with Ocean's Eleven, and this is the baby.

Expanded thoughts: my first impression when I saw this trailer was of the "HOLY SHIT!" variety. Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, and Ryan Gosling together? And yes, Steve Carrell's Academy Award nomination for Foxcatcher earns him enough cred points to be mentioned in with the other three, so let's throw him in. Not only that, but this movie actually looks good, stars or no stars. Never mind that I didn't know what was going on half the time during the trailer, I still managed to get enough of the gist to understand these guys were going all David vs. Goliath on the U.S. Banking Industry. That's an old formula, but hey, it works.

There were two movies this trailer reminded me of: the fairly recent The Wolf of Wall Street (my second favorite movie of 2013), and the 2001 remake of Ocean's Eleven, if only because once again here's Brad Pitt sharing the spotlight with other A-listers as part of a team. And because the banks seem to be interchangeable with Las Vegas casinos for some reason. Probably due to all the money and greed both deal with daily.

Now, the trailer says "From the author of Moneyball and The Blind Side". Moneyball was a pretty good movie, and while I haven't seen The Blind Side, I know it is hailed as a really good sports movie. Both also happen to be based on true events, like this story, which means that whether they stay true to the source material or not, the execution should be right on point.

Expectations: High.