The Revenant

One sentence synopsis: honestly, judging by the trailer alone, I can only assume it's a revenge story.

One sentence trailer thoughts: looks really, really, Oscar baitish.

Yeah, that mad man is Leo DiCaprio.

Expanded thoughts: when the teaser for this movie came out, I was blown away; it gave you a really good feel for the artistry of the movie. That teaser is infinitely better than this official trailer, mostly because they sold me with great sound editing and imagery, and very few verbal exposition required. It was a piece of art in and of itself, whereas this trailer is more mainstream, however understandable that is from a marketing standpoint. Either one is a perfect showcase for González Iñárritu's masterful direction, though. Are several Oscar nominations awaiting this film? Probably. It sure looks like Oscar bait, and as of now, I'm biting.

Tom Hardy seems to be wanting that first Academy Award nomination really bad.

Expectations: Very high.

The X Files

One sentence synopsis: agents Mulder and Scully are back to tackle on more conspiracies than your average internet troll.

One sentence trailer thoughts: THEY ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

Expanded thoughts: it's The X Files, bro. This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime game-changing series that we never forget, and it's actually coming for seconds!

Also, is Gillian Anderson looking very different (and young), or is it just me? At first I wasn't sure if it was her or another actress, that's how much she has changed. Plastic surgery? Does it really matter? The X Files are back!

Expectations: very high!

Angry Birds

One sentence synopsis: Whatever, it's based on a phone app, ffs.

One sentence thoughts: haha...meh...hah...meh.

Expanded thoughts: I was very surprised to be actually laughing at some of the silly anger management issue jokes from this trailer. I mean, I don't even like the game it's based on, though I understand why it's so addictive; I have similar addiction problems with Fun Run, which come to think on it already had its Hollywood adaptation with Mad Max: Fury Road. Sort of.

I can identify with "Red" so much I think I might see this movie just because of him.

Anyway, some scenes were surprisingly funny, only to be immediately undercut by clichéd sequences that seemingly pop up in every single animated movie trailer. And going back to that synopsis: really, what's the plot here? Some birds suffer from anger issues, and then randomly some pigs appear on a ship, announce they are pigs, and...umm, conflict ensues, or something. Yes, I know the birds attack the pigs in the game, but if you have absolutely no idea about the game and watch this, you will be scratching your head. Heck, you probably would scratch your head anyway. I was.

Yes, you are pigs. Green pigs. So? Should we fight or something?

However, despite this, I have a feeling this movie is going to do really well on that opening weekend. After all, Summer is the season for two hour ads in the theaters.

Expectations: Meh. Maybe. I don't know. Probably not in the theaters. Unless I'm really, really bored.

The Young Messiah

One sentence synopsis: the story of Jesus as a child, basically.

One sentence trailer thoughts: what is this movie bringing that is different from the other zillion movies about Jesus?

Expanded thoughts: I used to watch this sort of movie every Easter week, for six or even seven days in a row, back in a time when local channels broadcasted religious movies throughout that holy week. And it really looks like one of those old movies and not a new Hollywood production. There are only two reasons why I gave this trailer a glance: Sean Bean, and Anne Rice.

Will Sean Bean's character die in the movie? I really wonder that. He's a really good actor that always draws you in to his roles. Should be interesting to see what he does here as a Roman... Centurion? I guess he is tracking Jesus under the orders of Herod, who... *sigh* I know he was a king, but he was also a Jew. I have a hard time fathoming a Jew giving a Roman citizen orders. Don't have enough historical knowledge to argue one way or another for the movie's accuracy in that respect, so I'll just leave it at "it nags me".

As for Anne Rice, I remember years ago when she published a book about Jesus, back when I was still very much in awe of her first three Vampire Chronicles and liked some of the other ones. I thought it was very interesting how a writer with her resume tackled such a topic as Jesus Christ. Never got to read that novel, but always assumed she imprinted her own personal style into it, gave the story something new that made it deserving of the read. But I watch this trailer, and I wonder if the fault lies with the movie or the source material, because there's nothing notable about it, besides the fact that it doesn't stray from the childhood years of Jesus.

Expectations: Low. Sort of. Better wait for the next trailer.

The Big Short

One sentence synopsis: four outsiders in the world of high finance who predicted the credit and housing bubble-collapse of the mid 2000's decide to take on the big banks for their lack of foresight and greed.

One sentence trailer thoughts: it's like The Wolf of Wall Street had a one night stand with Ocean's Eleven, and this is the baby.

Expanded thoughts: my first impression when I saw this trailer was of the "HOLY SHIT!" variety. Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, and Ryan Gosling together? And yes, Steve Carrell's Academy Award nomination for Foxcatcher earns him enough cred points to be mentioned in with the other three, so let's throw him in. Not only that, but this movie actually looks good, stars or no stars. Never mind that I didn't know what was going on half the time during the trailer, I still managed to get enough of the gist to understand these guys were going all David vs. Goliath on the U.S. Banking Industry. That's an old formula, but hey, it works.

There were two movies this trailer reminded me of: the fairly recent The Wolf of Wall Street (my second favorite movie of 2013), and the 2001 remake of Ocean's Eleven, if only because once again here's Brad Pitt sharing the spotlight with other A-listers as part of a team. And because the banks seem to be interchangeable with Las Vegas casinos for some reason. Probably due to all the money and greed both deal with daily.

Now, the trailer says "From the author of Moneyball and The Blind Side". Moneyball was a pretty good movie, and while I haven't seen The Blind Side, I know it is hailed as a really good sports movie. Both also happen to be based on true events, like this story, which means that whether they stay true to the source material or not, the execution should be right on point.

Expectations: High.