Combo Thoughts: TMNT 2, ID4 2, X Men: Apocalypse, Star Trek Beyond

So I decided to take a week off of too much internet, and of course four 2016 summer blockbuster trailers are released during that time. Instead of posting thoughts one trailer at a time, I'm going to cover them all in one blog post, beginning with...

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS

It looks very, very silly, just like the 1990's cartoon. And because it looks just like the 1990's cartoon, but in live action, I'm willing to give it a chance. It's a silly kind of fun.

And for the record, I did like last year's TMNT movie, damn stupid as it was. These turtles are spot on personality wise, I dare say even more so than the 1990's movie ones.

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

Possibly the best of the four trailers. I never craved for an ID4 sequel, and still don't, but it can't be denied that the trailer looks awesome. The 1996 movie was a cinematic event  and can boast of arguably the greatest troop rallying speech in movie history, which interestingly enough they used here once again to great effect.

X MEN: APOCALYPSE

I'm not a fan of the Bryan Singer X Men movies, even though X2 and Days of Future Past were both pretty good. It just seems to me that Singer was never the best fit for these movies, as they all seem to be lacking a certain... oomph. However, I was looking forward to X Men: Apocalypse, as Apocalypse is one of my favorite comicbook villains, and it will feature the cast of X Men: First Class (by far my favorite X Movie).

I wasn't disappointed by the trailer, but it didn't get me particularly excited either, and it also confirmed that Apocalypse's atrocious look is indeed real and Fox won't bother fixing it. His voice doesn't help matters either; even though I roll my eyes at most rough, deep, cliched villain voices, Apocalypse is one of those villains that works better with it. Oscar Isaacs isn't doing it for me.

STAR TREK BEYOND

Saving the worst for last, here's Star Trek Beyond.

Ok, yes, the 2009 JJ Abrams timeline reboot was a fun ride, but it wasn't what Star Trek is all about. It can be forgiven because Abrams was asked to revitalize the franchise, and Abrams isn't a Trek fan anyway, so he's obviously going all pew pew with it. Star Trek Into Darkness was more nonsensical pew pew, but it did have its emotional moments, and once again I enjoyed it. However, at the end of that movie was the promise of the Five Year mission that was the focus of the original 1960's TV series, and what I yearned for (the return to a more science based, social commentary Star Trek) was a distinct possibility. It's not that I disliked the space battles and action scenes, it's that I did not want Star Trek movies to rely solely on them to sell their stories. A combination of the two is possible (best example: Wrath of Khan) provided you get the right writers. How did the original series do it? They hired actual science fiction writers, not Hollywood hacks, to write their stories.

So what does Paramount do?

Why, they hire the director from The Fast and the Furious, of course!

I had actually forgotten that ridiculous hiring happened until I started watching this trailer. If you have ever wanted to see The Fast and the Furious in space, this is your chance. Maybe Uhura and that new alien lady will delight us with a gratuitous ass shot as the Enterprise soars into adventure. 

Now all that's left is for a 2001: A Space Odyssey remake with Michael Bay at the helm, just so Arthur C. Clarke can roll in his grave in unison with Gene Roddenberry. 

Batman v Superman Official Trailer #2

One sentence synopsis: Batman is not happy with Superman, so they fight; also, Lex Luthor sharpens his puppeteering skills.

One sentence trailer thoughts: loved it, but god damn you, spoilers!

Expanded thoughts: this trailer is like Man of Steel: I really liked it, but can't help criticizing it to death. After two good promos with last year's teaser and this year's Comic Con trailer, where they showed enough to water our mouths without spoiling anything, Warner Bros went all out giving away too much. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

So the trailer starts with the first meeting of Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent. So far so great; this encounter delivered the goods in terms of script and character portrayal. Kent asks Wayne what he thinks about Gotham's bat vigilante, to which Wayne's immediate reaction is a knowing smile. What follows that is the first few salvoes in the Batman versus Superman war: Kent argues that Gotham is in a state of fear and the Batman thinks he is above the law, while Wayne counters that such an argument is hypocritical coming from the Daily Planet since Superman is basically in the same position over at Metropolis. The coup de grace comes when Wayne says "Maybe it's the Gotham City in me; I have a bad history with freaks dressed like clowns". In one fell swoop he insults Superman while referencing the Joker in an insanely awesome quote.

With the current climate of fearmongering over Muslims in the United States, I found it interesting how Bruce says "alien" during this exchange. I'm probably overthinking this, but there's some parallel with Zod's attack on Metropolis and terrorists attacks in our world, and how this creates an intense fear of the foreign. Here Batman takes the tough stance against aliens, any aliens, regardless of the good Superman has been doing. I'm just going to say it outright: Batman is leaning Republican while Superman is leaning Democrat. And when you think about it, well of course it makes sense.

Anyway, back to the trailer. This sequence should have ended (in the trailer) right there, yet for some reason they decided to show us Lex's intervention. Now, I was not a fan of this Luthor in the first trailer, and still dislike him after this one. Too much of a smartass when he should be more intimidating (obviously they didn't cast Jesse Eisenberg to be intimidating, but you get the point). I liked him in this scene, but I wish they kept this as a movie surprise. It shifted the tone of the trailer from serious to funny, then after this went back to serious... it doesn't really fit the trailer. For the movie, though, it's great how Luthor's the one to diffuse the tension between the two heroes.

The trailer continues with a bunch of explosions and action sequences while Alfred is telling Bruce what everybody knows: that the Batman engaging Superman is suicide, he cannot win. Even Superman tells it like it is when he says at one point "Stay down. If I wanted it, you'd be dead already!" Of course, we know Batman is one obssessive guy and he doesn't let go of things easily.

Eventually we get to the part where the biggest spoiler exists. Yes, the rumors had been circulating that Doomsday would show up in this movie, and Zod's brief shot in the Comic Con teaser opened up that possibility; but confirming that suspicion at the end of this trailer shifted the focus from the Superman versus Batman fight into Doomsday. Remember, even the title is promoting this as a grand battle between the two greatest heroes of DC Comics. We all know they will kiss and make up at the end and eventally form the Justice League, there was no need to show us that. Doomsday made the fight feel meaningless. Did I like that sequence, and Wonder Woman saving the day? Hell yes. Would I rather WB never showed that? Absolutely.

Wait... are those Darkseid's parademons?

Expectations: very high.