The Revenant

One sentence synopsis: honestly, judging by the trailer alone, I can only assume it's a revenge story.

One sentence trailer thoughts: looks really, really, Oscar baitish.

Yeah, that mad man is Leo DiCaprio.

Expanded thoughts: when the teaser for this movie came out, I was blown away; it gave you a really good feel for the artistry of the movie. That teaser is infinitely better than this official trailer, mostly because they sold me with great sound editing and imagery, and very few verbal exposition required. It was a piece of art in and of itself, whereas this trailer is more mainstream, however understandable that is from a marketing standpoint. Either one is a perfect showcase for González Iñárritu's masterful direction, though. Are several Oscar nominations awaiting this film? Probably. It sure looks like Oscar bait, and as of now, I'm biting.

Tom Hardy seems to be wanting that first Academy Award nomination really bad.

Expectations: Very high.

The X Files

One sentence synopsis: agents Mulder and Scully are back to tackle on more conspiracies than your average internet troll.

One sentence trailer thoughts: THEY ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

Expanded thoughts: it's The X Files, bro. This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime game-changing series that we never forget, and it's actually coming for seconds!

Also, is Gillian Anderson looking very different (and young), or is it just me? At first I wasn't sure if it was her or another actress, that's how much she has changed. Plastic surgery? Does it really matter? The X Files are back!

Expectations: very high!

Angry Birds

One sentence synopsis: Whatever, it's based on a phone app, ffs.

One sentence thoughts: haha...meh...hah...meh.

Expanded thoughts: I was very surprised to be actually laughing at some of the silly anger management issue jokes from this trailer. I mean, I don't even like the game it's based on, though I understand why it's so addictive; I have similar addiction problems with Fun Run, which come to think on it already had its Hollywood adaptation with Mad Max: Fury Road. Sort of.

I can identify with "Red" so much I think I might see this movie just because of him.

Anyway, some scenes were surprisingly funny, only to be immediately undercut by clichéd sequences that seemingly pop up in every single animated movie trailer. And going back to that synopsis: really, what's the plot here? Some birds suffer from anger issues, and then randomly some pigs appear on a ship, announce they are pigs, and...umm, conflict ensues, or something. Yes, I know the birds attack the pigs in the game, but if you have absolutely no idea about the game and watch this, you will be scratching your head. Heck, you probably would scratch your head anyway. I was.

Yes, you are pigs. Green pigs. So? Should we fight or something?

However, despite this, I have a feeling this movie is going to do really well on that opening weekend. After all, Summer is the season for two hour ads in the theaters.

Expectations: Meh. Maybe. I don't know. Probably not in the theaters. Unless I'm really, really bored.