Combo Thoughts: TMNT 2, ID4 2, X Men: Apocalypse, Star Trek Beyond

So I decided to take a week off of too much internet, and of course four 2016 summer blockbuster trailers are released during that time. Instead of posting thoughts one trailer at a time, I'm going to cover them all in one blog post, beginning with...

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS

It looks very, very silly, just like the 1990's cartoon. And because it looks just like the 1990's cartoon, but in live action, I'm willing to give it a chance. It's a silly kind of fun.

And for the record, I did like last year's TMNT movie, damn stupid as it was. These turtles are spot on personality wise, I dare say even more so than the 1990's movie ones.

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

Possibly the best of the four trailers. I never craved for an ID4 sequel, and still don't, but it can't be denied that the trailer looks awesome. The 1996 movie was a cinematic event  and can boast of arguably the greatest troop rallying speech in movie history, which interestingly enough they used here once again to great effect.

X MEN: APOCALYPSE

I'm not a fan of the Bryan Singer X Men movies, even though X2 and Days of Future Past were both pretty good. It just seems to me that Singer was never the best fit for these movies, as they all seem to be lacking a certain... oomph. However, I was looking forward to X Men: Apocalypse, as Apocalypse is one of my favorite comicbook villains, and it will feature the cast of X Men: First Class (by far my favorite X Movie).

I wasn't disappointed by the trailer, but it didn't get me particularly excited either, and it also confirmed that Apocalypse's atrocious look is indeed real and Fox won't bother fixing it. His voice doesn't help matters either; even though I roll my eyes at most rough, deep, cliched villain voices, Apocalypse is one of those villains that works better with it. Oscar Isaacs isn't doing it for me.

STAR TREK BEYOND

Saving the worst for last, here's Star Trek Beyond.

Ok, yes, the 2009 JJ Abrams timeline reboot was a fun ride, but it wasn't what Star Trek is all about. It can be forgiven because Abrams was asked to revitalize the franchise, and Abrams isn't a Trek fan anyway, so he's obviously going all pew pew with it. Star Trek Into Darkness was more nonsensical pew pew, but it did have its emotional moments, and once again I enjoyed it. However, at the end of that movie was the promise of the Five Year mission that was the focus of the original 1960's TV series, and what I yearned for (the return to a more science based, social commentary Star Trek) was a distinct possibility. It's not that I disliked the space battles and action scenes, it's that I did not want Star Trek movies to rely solely on them to sell their stories. A combination of the two is possible (best example: Wrath of Khan) provided you get the right writers. How did the original series do it? They hired actual science fiction writers, not Hollywood hacks, to write their stories.

So what does Paramount do?

Why, they hire the director from The Fast and the Furious, of course!

I had actually forgotten that ridiculous hiring happened until I started watching this trailer. If you have ever wanted to see The Fast and the Furious in space, this is your chance. Maybe Uhura and that new alien lady will delight us with a gratuitous ass shot as the Enterprise soars into adventure. 

Now all that's left is for a 2001: A Space Odyssey remake with Michael Bay at the helm, just so Arthur C. Clarke can roll in his grave in unison with Gene Roddenberry. 

Batman v Superman Official Trailer #2

One sentence synopsis: Batman is not happy with Superman, so they fight; also, Lex Luthor sharpens his puppeteering skills.

One sentence trailer thoughts: loved it, but god damn you, spoilers!

Expanded thoughts: this trailer is like Man of Steel: I really liked it, but can't help criticizing it to death. After two good promos with last year's teaser and this year's Comic Con trailer, where they showed enough to water our mouths without spoiling anything, Warner Bros went all out giving away too much. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

So the trailer starts with the first meeting of Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent. So far so great; this encounter delivered the goods in terms of script and character portrayal. Kent asks Wayne what he thinks about Gotham's bat vigilante, to which Wayne's immediate reaction is a knowing smile. What follows that is the first few salvoes in the Batman versus Superman war: Kent argues that Gotham is in a state of fear and the Batman thinks he is above the law, while Wayne counters that such an argument is hypocritical coming from the Daily Planet since Superman is basically in the same position over at Metropolis. The coup de grace comes when Wayne says "Maybe it's the Gotham City in me; I have a bad history with freaks dressed like clowns". In one fell swoop he insults Superman while referencing the Joker in an insanely awesome quote.

With the current climate of fearmongering over Muslims in the United States, I found it interesting how Bruce says "alien" during this exchange. I'm probably overthinking this, but there's some parallel with Zod's attack on Metropolis and terrorists attacks in our world, and how this creates an intense fear of the foreign. Here Batman takes the tough stance against aliens, any aliens, regardless of the good Superman has been doing. I'm just going to say it outright: Batman is leaning Republican while Superman is leaning Democrat. And when you think about it, well of course it makes sense.

Anyway, back to the trailer. This sequence should have ended (in the trailer) right there, yet for some reason they decided to show us Lex's intervention. Now, I was not a fan of this Luthor in the first trailer, and still dislike him after this one. Too much of a smartass when he should be more intimidating (obviously they didn't cast Jesse Eisenberg to be intimidating, but you get the point). I liked him in this scene, but I wish they kept this as a movie surprise. It shifted the tone of the trailer from serious to funny, then after this went back to serious... it doesn't really fit the trailer. For the movie, though, it's great how Luthor's the one to diffuse the tension between the two heroes.

The trailer continues with a bunch of explosions and action sequences while Alfred is telling Bruce what everybody knows: that the Batman engaging Superman is suicide, he cannot win. Even Superman tells it like it is when he says at one point "Stay down. If I wanted it, you'd be dead already!" Of course, we know Batman is one obssessive guy and he doesn't let go of things easily.

Eventually we get to the part where the biggest spoiler exists. Yes, the rumors had been circulating that Doomsday would show up in this movie, and Zod's brief shot in the Comic Con teaser opened up that possibility; but confirming that suspicion at the end of this trailer shifted the focus from the Superman versus Batman fight into Doomsday. Remember, even the title is promoting this as a grand battle between the two greatest heroes of DC Comics. We all know they will kiss and make up at the end and eventally form the Justice League, there was no need to show us that. Doomsday made the fight feel meaningless. Did I like that sequence, and Wonder Woman saving the day? Hell yes. Would I rather WB never showed that? Absolutely.

Wait... are those Darkseid's parademons?

Expectations: very high.

Captain America: Civil War Teaser Trailer #1

One sentence synopsis: the government has had enough of superheroes running around unchecked, and their registration idea is not agreed upon universally...

One sentence trailer thoughts: loved it, with a but...

 Expanded thoughts: I have been waiting quite a while for this one. Out of all the Marvel movies that have been slated since 2014 until 2020, this is the one I have been looking forward to the most, simply because the comicbook storyline it is based upon is one of my favorites; so my expectations coming into this trailer where very high... and they were both met, and not.

Let me explain myself. From a cinematic point of view, the movie looks fantastic. Pitting superheroes against each other is always a plus, and this "versus" has been better built up than Batman and Superman's. Had I not read the comics, I wouldn't have a bad thing to say about this. I loved it. The action looks just as great as The Winter Soldier's, which is my #1 Marvel movie to date. We get to see the introduction of Black Panther, who looks badass in those few seconds of screen time. We even might have had a glimpse of the MCU's Spiderman right after the sequence where Black Panther is being chased by Cap in the parking lot. It's epic in scope, and you know the story is at the center of this movie and not the big explosions or stunts. It is directed by the Russo brothers, the same architects behind The Winter Soldier's success.

Black Panther

Here comes the big, hairy But.

But (and mind you, this is judging solely from the trailer, for we have nothing else) from a story potential point of view, it disappointed me. I need to give some background for those who have not read the Civil War comics: the war is triggered by some kids with superpowers who have a reality show, and in their pilot episode they are about to bust into a house where some supervillains are hiding. Things go wrong, and one of the supervillains causes a huge explosion that ends up killing hundreds, including lots of children in a nearby school in the city of Stamford. This tragedy, of course, is met with a public outcry to restrain superpowered beings, in a parallel to 9/11 and its subsequent world of fearmongering against all things Muslim. The U.S. Government decides that the days of unchecked superheroes are over; now they must officially register as government employees and answer to the government itself. Many heroes, including Tony Stark and the Fantastic Four's Reed Richards, agree to this officialization of "superheroing", while others, led by Captain America, do not want to be told who to help or not by anyone. This is big, of course, since Captain America was one the U.S.'s top soldiers, and if there was anyone you would expect to run along with this new agenda, it is him.

Those that do not comply are criminals. Enter the Civil War.

Now that you have the context, let's go back to this trailer. Based on this trailer the trigger seems to be Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. The government is after him and Cap will defend his friend to the last, and Falcon is involved because he was already helping Cap in Bucky's search. When Cap faces off against some police agents in another country, the government of the United States decides that enough is enough, and that superheroes cannot keep running around doing whatever they feel like without facing any consequences. Thus, the Registration Act is born, one to which Cap cannot agree to... because he doesn't want Bucky falling into the government hands. Tony Stark is now sent by the government to track down Cap and Bucky and bring them to "justice". Enter the MCU's Civil War.

Spoilers much? 'Cause he looks dead to me. And a black guy does die in the comics too.
Just saying.

This is where I have a problem with this version. This plot isn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, it simply cheapens what was an even grander idea. It isn't about helping people at all costs anymore, now it's something personal for Cap; it's about his friend. The way the trailer ended gives me confidence in believing that this will be the main theme of the movie: friendship and betrayal. Again, not a bad plot course, it simply isn't about purer ideals of heroism like in the comics, something that not only Cap but the many others that follow him can get behind. It is Cap's quest now, and he will be dragging his loyal friends into the mess. Frankly, this makes him look bad in my opinion, and Tony the sane one.

Besides cheapening a bigger story, my other problem is that they already had laid the groundwork for the original, bigger story. Remember Age of Ultron, how the Hulk went out of control and his battle against Stark's Hulkbuster caused plenty of damage to Johannesburg? Or how it was Tony Stark's own stubborn creation, Ultron, that put the entire world at risk? Not only was this a similar trigger to the tragedy of Stamford from the comics, it was a better one. Why? Because this time it wasn't some reckless kids who don't know any better causing the damage, it was the mighty Avengers' own members that needed to be restrained. Furthermore, Tony Stark was at the center of both incidents, making him the penitent hero that would immediately agree to a Registration Act in order to soothe his guilty conscience. Cap had no such qualms, of course, and would resent what he sees as government intrusion into matters of principle and not legal authority, especially after H.Y.D.R.A's infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D. He simply cannot trust in the government anymore, and thus has every reason to decline registration and become a fugitive.

It was there already, Marvel! You didn't need Bucky for this, all you needed was to explore the fallout of the previous movie, which to me already looked like a setup for this movie. Heck, even DC is doing this with Batman v Superman. Bucky could have joined in once Cap was underground.

Now, I repeat, I am basing these impressions only on the teaser trailer. Maybe they will explore this bigger plot anyway. Maybe that is the reason Tony Stark accepts to be registered. It just doesn't seem like it, and so the trailer disappointed me as much as I loved it.

The movie, however, (or even the next trailer) might change this.

Expectations: regardless of which plot they follow, my expectations are quite high.